|Workout Leads to Thoughts
||[Jul. 6th, 2011|04:17 am]
Incoming insight, rambles, and overall questionable thoughts.. take from it what you will.|
I'm not a poet in the sense I wish to be, I wish the trivial flow of words and rhythmic conjunction came to me naturally. Continual connections, added in line, guidance from sentence to sentence in a river of prismatic written light. But it doesn't. It won't, it trickles out like a backed up dam with a spit of swamp mud from time to time and a grub pokes out and hits you in the eye. I may have a way with words and a depth at times most unfathomable, but I envy the word weavers, synonym spinners, alliterating athletes... they make me smile and cringe so that I sit with a neutrally closed mouth.
Pour out oceans and volumes and novels of text day after waking day and night after sleepless night. A failed comparison to the few sentenced perfections tapped out in moments of daily insights and almost trained synaptic second natures. This word matches these words, this one groups with those, and from those branch off into a webbed forest of literary chaos so beautifully perplexing the only ones dare tread its sticky vine work are the very predatory parasites that fester in the envied minds of said poets.
But I see its beauty, I respect its power, I sense its calming conclusions and questioningly tidal read through. We can take it all so many ways, feel it all so differently and yet agree on it all just the same. That in itself is the beauty. A connection thru confusion, a defiant claim to clarity.
While working out with a friend this morning before coming home I began to piece a visual of all creations connection to one another and our influence over all. It started as a single cord, a line, what have you, and in that each "contact" without ever truly touching, since we as human trust no one entirely and always distrust indefinitely no matter how close we allow another to get, never make true contact. Touching on a physical level is cheap, We in that sense have touched everyone thru a connection of touch. The air connects us all, the water has been through or around us, the gases, the elements etc. We are all indeed connected in that sense. Water is a conductor and we are all made up of a large percentage of it. Our thoughts are electrical, does it not enhance its purpose in water? In that would it not be plausible that when we have ideas when we have thoughts our memories remain and in that linger fingerprint or blueprint the idea eternal? So when we think a spark can be sent throughout all our bodies influence our minds, leave a lingering reminder in someone else for miles and miles away throughout infinite "connective" space? Revamped connections feed that linger into a more stable more solid idea perhaps even fed further by an already existent thought or idea similar to the original memory blueprint and over time one exists to pursue the idea now in full fruition?
Perhaps that in itself is the reason we too often have if not in ourselves but in our friends had situations where something we thought up in our own minds as a mere "thought doodle" is seen weeks maybe years later in an exact or slightly modified version by someone else.
I have an issue with Vegetarians, Vegans, Carnivores, and more.. I do not know what is right or wrong for my thoughts and morals are based on what I was allowed to be exposed to under the moral understandings of my parents, grandparents, teachers, region, friends, etc... But I do have my ideas.
If in fact we are all connected, if in fact the ideas of connected thought even if not fully understood, perhaps my existence means my mind sends out the idea I will need to eat, I will need to survive. throughout the years and time "fate" as some call it causes events to lead into the birthing and gathering, the timing, the jobs given, the line up, the match up, the slaughter, the "life" release and transfer. Perhaps in all that it all adds up right to the moment I eat, consume, assimilate, and adjust. How is that justification any different than the process of justification for a moral qualm a vegetarian has to overcome the need for proteins and what not from one life form to another. If all things are living since all things have energy sentience is simply the defining marker to which we justify what is right and wrong. I say think on an energy level. If in reality we all want to transcend to a purer form... pure energy has no sentience it just is. And in that sense... what difference is right from wrong? Merely a decider between like minds, and in that begins the conflict. An "animal" even though I still deem myself one, may not have the same sentience as another... and in so doing if a cow was raised with the influence it needed to be more territorial or more sexual, or more knowledgeable... what, over time, would happen? Evolution of sentience. We were all simple minded as well long long ago. We learned thru example, thru observation, thru training over eons. Our selfishness prevented us from ever stopping throughout history to allow any other species the opportunity to follow our path. We train pets to only do so much but on a regular basis now we see amazing videos where they exhibit skills far beyond the normal actions of their brethren. We can easily be within the science fiction we so aptly pass off as entertainment. But give up our mantle of power on this small speck... I don't think we'd all look too kindly on it. A battle of dominance, that's what it comes down to and sadly the other options are always brushed to the way side.
Open minds are turned down in society to some degree and forced to wear compressed blinders, because we must exist within the confines of our civilized shackles... but for what? Oppression of a greater existence beyond our subservience?
So many possibilities and so little time for we the celestial dust balls to attain. We don't dive into thought as much as we use to or should, we yearn for further distractions, faster object production to feed our overgrown materialistic unnatural improperly misdesigned financially inept mockery of life. This isn't it. But it will be if we choose to exist so blindly.
Our advancements do nothing short of limit us even further. Compress us all to a muddled grey screaming for outside sources to spice our colorless lives up with flare. Our bling, our sing, our things... its all for nothing. Force yourself to compress, refine, submit, and deny, then only then will you find a false golden calf to turn to in times of great questioning need. Struggle your whole life, endure hardship and in the end you will be granted the paradise you've so longed for since true fruition of your own individual sentience. So stubbornly and blindly we trek on, so much overlooked.. so much lost... Depressing? No.. at first perhaps if this is your first glimpse into it all. But they exist. The ones who truly endure... the ones who Become rather than just Be. Not the ones who Became... the ones who "live" the "life" they bask in illusions set up to fool us and feed them. Our golden calves crested in the platinum chains of their own oppressions, their own shackles to the lives they forced on themselves and are forced to eternally maintain. To live under the roof, to swim that Olympic pool and maintain those priceless automotive wonders... the weight grows heavy and the gallop so few. To run freely amongst our common man is to dodge our chains and hope they don't tangle and tighten. Freedom is a giant diamond and gold bejeweled mirror engulfed in the vapors of a most intoxicating allure of false promise and hoaxed deception. Slaves aren't we all to someone? Slave master's whip ironically held within the grasp of our own eager hands. We sell ourselves to our own cause without the notion of knowing the truth of our existence. The world exists on monetary systems developed solely by our own kind. We oppress ourselves, we crush our own. Our debt isn't real it was a trick from the get go an eternal screwover promise.. legal tender saying that money created for us to barter and trade was already owed back by a percentage that just didn't exist to begin with. Our eagerly desperate forefathers sold our hides to this slavery without any disregard as to what it would truly entail. Our constant existence grows beyond the nature of animals and transcends into a weakening madness. Our fine tuned minds by some and eagerly altered society grow increasingly and violently closer. The more our information grows, the more our access broadens the masses minds.... we shall all strike out. A beast burdened with brilliance unknown will lash out in fear and anger.. We shall be our own murderers. We are the most powerful plague this planet shall ever knowand has known, and she will die by our conquest. We won't accept our place. I feel sorry for this beautifully complex rock. I drive down roadways and "grids" thinking of what it once was, or could have looked like... See giant buildings blocking views for miles and knowing once you could see the very mile to which you could now not see... We are a foolish lot. And yet even still
that same ridiculous nature has also brought us the joys and beauty of the arts. So much expression that I can always understand how hard it is to see us as anything but good.
Make no mistake I do not disguise my words in anger or hatred or anything of a negative nature... Truth is truth and I accept that good is bad and bad is good. We all need both to be able to understand and appreciate the other. So few remember that the path between the two is riddled with so much more, so much expression and feeling that the broad points are usually far more exaggerated in their strengths than the very middle ground to which we use as a foundation on a regular basis. Embracing that is our greatest strengths. Feeling overall is overwhelming if experienced so fleetingly, but with practice it all becomes more human than the existence we are force fed to become.
Responsibility of what we engage in and endure, our greatest trials and self triumphs. Her name is Dresden, perhaps I'll have a Wulfred, Wolf, Gideon, Charlie, Orpheus, Darius, Maeve, Mauve, Cecily, Chaela....etc the list is as endless as the children's lives. I can never place them until I see the eyes of those born. But my children give me a strength and purpose none shall ever comprehend its honor and horror. In my own way at least.. we all undergo the transformation at one point whether we don the mantle properly or foolishly, it will be pressed upon our brow inevitably. You will enjoy the child and all its wonderment and the rearing of its life through the ages... but the path to which you must govern as an example has a path so few truly question. I intend to maintain intelligence and morality... but the rest is quite a pickle indeed.
Well that is a ramble and a rant enough I suppose... I had to take a moment to inspect a mouse burrowing thru the cupboards and whether its death is more deemed than my own, simply because I am bigger and allegedly more sentient. Needless to say I warranted the act of discipline and scared it from its scratching. Teach it, that if it wishes to continue that it heed the surroundings and know a larger entity is nearby unnerved by it doings and to choose a more opportune time to which it can wage its parallel life near my own.